Open letter of comfort to the people of Newtown, CT

Dear, dear victims,

                Please know your nation stands behind you.  You are not alone in your grief.  People all over America and perhaps the entire globe, have followed your story with hearts aching for your tragedy and eyes welling with tears. We feel the crushing weight of loss—that of young life and that of innocence—strongly and continuously.  You and your loved ones will not be easily forgotten and many of us pray that God will redeem your pain—that there will be good to come out of this. 

                We are crying out for steps to be taken to erase this kind of threat from ever happening again.  Though there is not agreement in our country as to what those measures should be, there is certainly a unison cry against the evil that has so impacted your town.   We hope you can be comforted in a small way by our collective support.

                As for the question of “why,” we may never know this side of Heaven what God’s divine purposes are, but I find personal solace in His Word that He “works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).  This tragedy brings to mind the famous words of Joseph, spoken to his brothers who betrayed him:  “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20)  We pray that God is taking what was meant to harm you and turning it around for good—He is working in the midst of all this.  He is a good God and He loves you.

                As a people, we feel the ache of your heart to the depths of our souls.  Parents, siblings, friends, and family--we can only imagine the unrelenting sorrow which threatens to overwhelm you.  We pray for a peace that passes all understanding to wash over you!  We pray for your brokenness to be made whole and your wounds to be healed.  We know this will take time, but we pray for a quickening in the healing process because we can’t fathom being in your place.  Remember that “God is near to the brokenhearted and He rescues those whose spirits are crushed!” (Psalm 34:18)  

                Jesus, who demonstrated His deep love for the little children, also called to us: “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you.  Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

We pray for PEACE
through the anger, the fear, and the worries.  

We pray for COMFORT
to fill the hole left by grief.  

We pray for LIGHT
to shine through this penetrating darkness.  

We pray for RELIEF
from the weighty heaviness.  

We pray for HOPE
to overwhelm the despair.  

We pray for LOVE
to demonstrate its power over evil. 

We pray for REDEMPTION of the pain—
for BEAUTY to arise from the ashes.  

We pray BECAUSE
we know God’s ways are higher than ours, 
but we can trust that He is good and He loves us 
more than we can even understand. 

We pray you will be ABLE
to turn to Him for all these things.

He is eager to GIVE YOU
the peace, the comfort, the light, the relief, the hope, 
the love, the redemption, the beauty that is Him. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.

“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future!”

~ Jeremiah 29:11

Take heart.  You are not alone.  We are hurting with you.  

Grace and peace to you from the bottom of my heart.

And the World Keeps Spinning ‘Round…

It’s a strange sensation experienced by those in grief.  The feeling that the rest of the world is moving along at its normal, fast pace—speeding by, even—while your entire world has stopped in its tracks.  You can’t breathe.  But the birds are still flying and chirping, people are still driving to work and posting silly jokes on Facebook, and life goes on all around you.

My baby sister had her first baby one month ago.  We were all giddy with excitement.  The showers had been thrown, the nursery was ready, and we were eager to meet my niece, Phoenix Roanne, who was so smart, she waited until her due date to come!  My sister lives in Kansas City (I’m in St. Louis), so I’d been keeping up with phone calls and texts as to the progress of the labor and when we went to bed that night, Beth was still at 5 cm and we were looking at a possible c-section.  The next morning, I had an email from my mom:  “Congratulations!  You’re an aunt.”  

With a smile on my face, I poured a cup of coffee and sat down to call my mom and get all the wonderful details.  But when she answered the phone, she immediately turned it over to my dad who said, “There’s a problem with the baby.”

And just like that, it happened.  That thing people talk about- how the air got sucked out of the room.

He went on to explain that her hands and feet were “webbed.”  He said the doctors think there are five digits in each hand, but they are so fused, her hands almost look like pads or mittens.  And there’s something not quite right about the shape of her brow.  They’ve taken blood to do chromosomal testing.

Since Phoenix did not have immediate respiratory, digestive, or heart concerns, she was allowed to leave the hospital with her parents after the normal 5-day stay after a c-section.  We remained concerned that something had been missed and that she may be in danger.

After a full month of waiting on pins and needles, Phoenix was finally diagnosed with Aperts Syndrome.  It’s a genetic disease in which the seams between the skull bones fuse earlier than normal, affecting the shape of the head and face.  It also causes complicated fusing/webbing of the hands and feet.  Children with Aperts often go through 15-20 major surgeries by the time they are 10 years old.  The hands and feet are a process themselves, but the most concerning surgeries are the craniofacial ones.  There are many issues that can develop:  sleep apnea, hearing and vision loss, intestinal mal-rotation, brain injury, and many others. 

We appreciate your prayers for Baby Phoenix and my family as we move forward.  We’ve been knocked down by a punch that came out of nowhere, but we know that God was not surprised.  His Word says that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and we rest in His promise that He cares for us and He knows the weight of this heartache.   We love this precious little girl and are sick with grief at the thought of the pain she is going to have to suffer.

Sometimes bad situations aren’t made “okay” in the end, at least from a human point of view.  Sometimes they are just terrible things that we have to live with and make the best of.  The world keeps on spinning even when we are stuck to the ground on which we stand, but we are standing on a hope and a peace that He knows and we ARE in His hand. 

Matthew 10:29-31

What is the price of two sparrows--one copper coin?

But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 

So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Post Panic Proverb

So my thought of the day is an old Proverb.  Chapter 19, verse 21 to be exact.  "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

I've got to be honest.  I've made a lot of plans in my 35 years.  Those of you who know me well are aware of this personality trait of mine (and thank you for loving me anyway!).  I like to have things planned out, well in advance: all my ducks in a row--you get the picture.  I am scheduled to the max and every minute counts.  My life is very full and I like it that way.

But when things don't quite go as planned--one little duckling decides to waddle out of his nice, neat row--Mama Duck is not happy. 

I found myself having a bit of a panic attack this week when deadlines weren't being met and it seemed people all around were letting me down in every arena.  My tendency is to tighten my grip, but it never works because when I open my fist, all I have are feathers.  (Yes, I'm apparently sticking with the duck metaphor, stay with me.)  No matter how hard I try, I have no power to make things happen that are beyond my control.  

And you know what?  That point of realization is the very place God needs me to be.  Because then I can relax my grasp, stop all that quacking and chasing--He has got this!  God is in control and His ways are higher than mine.  His purpose prevails.  It's okay, Mama Duck.  Go for a swim.

Politics

I’m getting fed up.

Here’s the deal.  I’m a conservative Christian in a liberal arts profession.  So I have friends and acquaintances on both sides of the political split—extreme left and hard right.  And I am all for free speech and I can certainly appreciate and even admire true political activists who take a stand for what they believe and take advantage of email and social media to further a cause they are passionate about. 

What I am tired of is the name calling and the view that we are in a battle of good vs. evil or that it’s “us against them” when it comes to political party.  Can I just say that most people who are passionate about an issue—whatever side they are on--are GOOD-hearted people? And they want what is good for our country?  That people on every point in the spectrum are rational "thinkers"?  They are not all idiots who are blinded or deceived or stupid just because they are liberal or conservative.

Is there false information out there?  You bet.  How do you know it isn’t yours?  Statistics are often used to make point.  This seems sensible, however there is ALWAYS another statistic floating around somewhere which contradicts or supersedes.  I never know what statistic to believe because often the research is driven by a certain worldview and thus will often obtain a desired result.  So when people quote a statistic, it’s not that it’s wrong, and certainly not that the person referencing it is “ignorant and misinformed,” but there are a lot of “facts” out there…and that’s where the confusion lies.  Can we acknowledge that instead of dismissing someone’s argument (and worse, dismissing someone’s value) simply because we’ve heard or read a different statistic?

I feel completely bombarded with messages of intolerance, condescending language, and honestly, what feels like hatred—from both liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans.

We will never all agree on how to obtain the best for our society, our government,  our country, but can we at least agree to disagree without personal judgment and stereotyping?  I might be much more persuaded to listen to you if you stop posting venom-filled Obama jokes or stop forwarding arrogant outrage at “conservative idiots” every day. 

Let’s see people for who they really are: PEOPLE.  We are all people who love and hope and grieve and strive for a better future.  We all prize freedom and the right to pursue happiness.  We have a GREAT country with so many freedoms and so many opportunities available to us all.   Neither political party is “destroying” our country.  Be realistic.  The decisions made may be contrary to our desires and what we personally think is best, but we do have a system of checks and balances, right?  We have the opportunity to be more persuasive and gain a majority vote in a few short years.  But be wise and loving about how you are trying to persuade, or it will only breed loathing.  Freely stand up for your beliefs, but don’t categorically judge the “other side” while doing so.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, 

but have not love, 

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”   

~1^st Corinthians 13:1

10 Things I Learned in New York, NY

1.  Broadway theaters are small, but production is big.
     *  "Memphis" was showing in the Schubert Theater.  It was amazing--we were 4th row, center (good job, Chris!).  The talent is unmatched and the production is a spectacle, even with a relatively simple set like this one.  There were actors popping up out of the floor, dancing across the stage and disappearing back under the floor.  Sets moved "by themselves" on and off the stage.  So cool!

2.  Subways are the best mode of travel (well, besides walking). 
     *  I don't think I would even own a car if I lived in New York City.  Not only is the gridlock frustrating and slow, but the drivers are scary!  There is no where to go, but they're going anyway!  They will make a spot where there is none.

3.  There is another city underground.
     *  I had no idea that the subway system is as complex as an airport!  All these different gates and trains heading to different locations...and we came out in a huge bus terminal several times. 

4.  Though I could never find a trashcan, there was no trash on the ground--anywhere!
     *  Yes, we did see a rat, but that was in the subway, by the rails--what do you expect?  BUT the city was so clean!  I never even saw litter or felt like it was dirty.

5.  Everything you see on-screen about NY is EXACTLY the way it really looks!
    *  I couldn't believe it.  We passed rows of homes that looked just like the Cosby's and Sesame Street.  And Times Square looks just like what we see on Good Morning America and all those other shows.  There are moving advertisements and glittering lights everywhere.  Central Park and Rockefeller Center are just as they appear in all the films (except there's a bigger line to go ice-skating).

6.  The sea of HUMANITY is humbling and eye-opening.
    *  I've never in my life experienced being in such a huge crowd of PEOPLE.  Now granted, we left the day before New Year's Eve, so I'm sure that was a big part of it.  But even mid-week, there were just people everywhere.  Hustle and bustle all around you.  I think you could either feel "part of something" or lost in the masses.

7.  People can be kind in New York, NY. 
    *  New Yorkers are often painted as impatient, even rude.  But I never felt this (except in traffic).  Actually, we were offered help on two different occasions (I guess we looked like lost tourists).  And even in the worst crowds, bottle-necked on the sidewalk because of a magazine stand, everyone was orderly and patient.

8.  Bored flight attendants tend to get creative.
    *  Someone take that intercom mic away from her!

9.  I am capable to fan frenzy.
    *  This, I never knew.  I was never one to be all-a-flutter about rock or pop singers.  Could never understand why girls would scream out of control, trampling each other for autographs.  Until I saw one my favorite Broadway stars in person:  Adam Pascal.  Oh my.  I wanted to wave from my 4th row seat and scream:  "Adam!!!  It's ME!"

10.  I am the luckiest, most blessed girl in the world.  My husband is the best.
    *  He surprised me with a trip to NY to see a Broadway show.  Childcare arranged.  Knock one off my bucket list.  Thank you, Baby!  (He'll be milking this one for the next 10 years...and that's okay.  It was great!)

Grace and peace.