And the World Keeps Spinning ‘Round…

It’s a strange sensation experienced by those in grief.  The feeling that the rest of the world is moving along at its normal, fast pace—speeding by, even—while your entire world has stopped in its tracks.  You can’t breathe.  But the birds are still flying and chirping, people are still driving to work and posting silly jokes on Facebook, and life goes on all around you.

My baby sister had her first baby one month ago.  We were all giddy with excitement.  The showers had been thrown, the nursery was ready, and we were eager to meet my niece, Phoenix Roanne, who was so smart, she waited until her due date to come!  My sister lives in Kansas City (I’m in St. Louis), so I’d been keeping up with phone calls and texts as to the progress of the labor and when we went to bed that night, Beth was still at 5 cm and we were looking at a possible c-section.  The next morning, I had an email from my mom:  “Congratulations!  You’re an aunt.”  

With a smile on my face, I poured a cup of coffee and sat down to call my mom and get all the wonderful details.  But when she answered the phone, she immediately turned it over to my dad who said, “There’s a problem with the baby.”

And just like that, it happened.  That thing people talk about- how the air got sucked out of the room.

He went on to explain that her hands and feet were “webbed.”  He said the doctors think there are five digits in each hand, but they are so fused, her hands almost look like pads or mittens.  And there’s something not quite right about the shape of her brow.  They’ve taken blood to do chromosomal testing.

Since Phoenix did not have immediate respiratory, digestive, or heart concerns, she was allowed to leave the hospital with her parents after the normal 5-day stay after a c-section.  We remained concerned that something had been missed and that she may be in danger.

After a full month of waiting on pins and needles, Phoenix was finally diagnosed with Aperts Syndrome.  It’s a genetic disease in which the seams between the skull bones fuse earlier than normal, affecting the shape of the head and face.  It also causes complicated fusing/webbing of the hands and feet.  Children with Aperts often go through 15-20 major surgeries by the time they are 10 years old.  The hands and feet are a process themselves, but the most concerning surgeries are the craniofacial ones.  There are many issues that can develop:  sleep apnea, hearing and vision loss, intestinal mal-rotation, brain injury, and many others. 

We appreciate your prayers for Baby Phoenix and my family as we move forward.  We’ve been knocked down by a punch that came out of nowhere, but we know that God was not surprised.  His Word says that she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and we rest in His promise that He cares for us and He knows the weight of this heartache.   We love this precious little girl and are sick with grief at the thought of the pain she is going to have to suffer.

Sometimes bad situations aren’t made “okay” in the end, at least from a human point of view.  Sometimes they are just terrible things that we have to live with and make the best of.  The world keeps on spinning even when we are stuck to the ground on which we stand, but we are standing on a hope and a peace that He knows and we ARE in His hand. 

Matthew 10:29-31

What is the price of two sparrows--one copper coin?

But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 

And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 

So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Post Panic Proverb

So my thought of the day is an old Proverb.  Chapter 19, verse 21 to be exact.  "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

I've got to be honest.  I've made a lot of plans in my 35 years.  Those of you who know me well are aware of this personality trait of mine (and thank you for loving me anyway!).  I like to have things planned out, well in advance: all my ducks in a row--you get the picture.  I am scheduled to the max and every minute counts.  My life is very full and I like it that way.

But when things don't quite go as planned--one little duckling decides to waddle out of his nice, neat row--Mama Duck is not happy. 

I found myself having a bit of a panic attack this week when deadlines weren't being met and it seemed people all around were letting me down in every arena.  My tendency is to tighten my grip, but it never works because when I open my fist, all I have are feathers.  (Yes, I'm apparently sticking with the duck metaphor, stay with me.)  No matter how hard I try, I have no power to make things happen that are beyond my control.  

And you know what?  That point of realization is the very place God needs me to be.  Because then I can relax my grasp, stop all that quacking and chasing--He has got this!  God is in control and His ways are higher than mine.  His purpose prevails.  It's okay, Mama Duck.  Go for a swim.

Politics

I’m getting fed up.

Here’s the deal.  I’m a conservative Christian in a liberal arts profession.  So I have friends and acquaintances on both sides of the political split—extreme left and hard right.  And I am all for free speech and I can certainly appreciate and even admire true political activists who take a stand for what they believe and take advantage of email and social media to further a cause they are passionate about. 

What I am tired of is the name calling and the view that we are in a battle of good vs. evil or that it’s “us against them” when it comes to political party.  Can I just say that most people who are passionate about an issue—whatever side they are on--are GOOD-hearted people? And they want what is good for our country?  That people on every point in the spectrum are rational "thinkers"?  They are not all idiots who are blinded or deceived or stupid just because they are liberal or conservative.

Is there false information out there?  You bet.  How do you know it isn’t yours?  Statistics are often used to make point.  This seems sensible, however there is ALWAYS another statistic floating around somewhere which contradicts or supersedes.  I never know what statistic to believe because often the research is driven by a certain worldview and thus will often obtain a desired result.  So when people quote a statistic, it’s not that it’s wrong, and certainly not that the person referencing it is “ignorant and misinformed,” but there are a lot of “facts” out there…and that’s where the confusion lies.  Can we acknowledge that instead of dismissing someone’s argument (and worse, dismissing someone’s value) simply because we’ve heard or read a different statistic?

I feel completely bombarded with messages of intolerance, condescending language, and honestly, what feels like hatred—from both liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans.

We will never all agree on how to obtain the best for our society, our government,  our country, but can we at least agree to disagree without personal judgment and stereotyping?  I might be much more persuaded to listen to you if you stop posting venom-filled Obama jokes or stop forwarding arrogant outrage at “conservative idiots” every day. 

Let’s see people for who they really are: PEOPLE.  We are all people who love and hope and grieve and strive for a better future.  We all prize freedom and the right to pursue happiness.  We have a GREAT country with so many freedoms and so many opportunities available to us all.   Neither political party is “destroying” our country.  Be realistic.  The decisions made may be contrary to our desires and what we personally think is best, but we do have a system of checks and balances, right?  We have the opportunity to be more persuasive and gain a majority vote in a few short years.  But be wise and loving about how you are trying to persuade, or it will only breed loathing.  Freely stand up for your beliefs, but don’t categorically judge the “other side” while doing so.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, 

but have not love, 

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”   

~1^st Corinthians 13:1

10 Things I Learned in New York, NY

1.  Broadway theaters are small, but production is big.
     *  "Memphis" was showing in the Schubert Theater.  It was amazing--we were 4th row, center (good job, Chris!).  The talent is unmatched and the production is a spectacle, even with a relatively simple set like this one.  There were actors popping up out of the floor, dancing across the stage and disappearing back under the floor.  Sets moved "by themselves" on and off the stage.  So cool!

2.  Subways are the best mode of travel (well, besides walking). 
     *  I don't think I would even own a car if I lived in New York City.  Not only is the gridlock frustrating and slow, but the drivers are scary!  There is no where to go, but they're going anyway!  They will make a spot where there is none.

3.  There is another city underground.
     *  I had no idea that the subway system is as complex as an airport!  All these different gates and trains heading to different locations...and we came out in a huge bus terminal several times. 

4.  Though I could never find a trashcan, there was no trash on the ground--anywhere!
     *  Yes, we did see a rat, but that was in the subway, by the rails--what do you expect?  BUT the city was so clean!  I never even saw litter or felt like it was dirty.

5.  Everything you see on-screen about NY is EXACTLY the way it really looks!
    *  I couldn't believe it.  We passed rows of homes that looked just like the Cosby's and Sesame Street.  And Times Square looks just like what we see on Good Morning America and all those other shows.  There are moving advertisements and glittering lights everywhere.  Central Park and Rockefeller Center are just as they appear in all the films (except there's a bigger line to go ice-skating).

6.  The sea of HUMANITY is humbling and eye-opening.
    *  I've never in my life experienced being in such a huge crowd of PEOPLE.  Now granted, we left the day before New Year's Eve, so I'm sure that was a big part of it.  But even mid-week, there were just people everywhere.  Hustle and bustle all around you.  I think you could either feel "part of something" or lost in the masses.

7.  People can be kind in New York, NY. 
    *  New Yorkers are often painted as impatient, even rude.  But I never felt this (except in traffic).  Actually, we were offered help on two different occasions (I guess we looked like lost tourists).  And even in the worst crowds, bottle-necked on the sidewalk because of a magazine stand, everyone was orderly and patient.

8.  Bored flight attendants tend to get creative.
    *  Someone take that intercom mic away from her!

9.  I am capable to fan frenzy.
    *  This, I never knew.  I was never one to be all-a-flutter about rock or pop singers.  Could never understand why girls would scream out of control, trampling each other for autographs.  Until I saw one my favorite Broadway stars in person:  Adam Pascal.  Oh my.  I wanted to wave from my 4th row seat and scream:  "Adam!!!  It's ME!"

10.  I am the luckiest, most blessed girl in the world.  My husband is the best.
    *  He surprised me with a trip to NY to see a Broadway show.  Childcare arranged.  Knock one off my bucket list.  Thank you, Baby!  (He'll be milking this one for the next 10 years...and that's okay.  It was great!)

Grace and peace.
  

I Am Learning...

1.   I have all the time I need.

                Frankly, I’m a busy girl.  With three children under the age of 7 and a house I attempt to keep up with, I’m also a professor and a choral director.  The Evidence CD project will not produce itself, and I manage a lot of our ongoing details and responsibilities.  Then there’s regular church ministry, trying to be a good neighbor, daughter, friend, wife, and the list goes on and on (as I’m sure you can all relate!).  I have often found myself saying, “I only wish there were more than 24 hours in a day!”

                But there is something our pastor said in a long-ago sermon which stuck with me:  “You have all the time you need (to do what God has called you to do!).”

                God knew what He was doing when He set the earth spinning on its axis.  24 hours IS all I need.  Because I should only be doing what He has asked me to do.  Everything else is wasting my time.  Opportunities come knocking, but I am not meant to walk through every open door.  But I AM meant to give my best to every door HE has opened for me.

2.  God is never surprised.

                I’ll be honest.  Evidence has been thrown some curve balls lately.  But every unexpected situation I’ve had to deal with was only unexpected to me.  God knew they were coming.  And not only is that alone a comfort—to know that He is sovereign and He still called us to our ministry knowing what was going to be thrown at us—but God also prepared some unexpected encouragement to come our way at just the right times.  In fact, quite a bit of it!  I am learning to cling to those home runs during an inning of curve balls.  (Why I’m using baseball analogies, I have no idea.)

3.   The fields are white.

                “The fields are white” is a line from our song, “Be the Evidence.”  And we have experienced some reaping of the harvest lately.  There often are concerts during which we can sense the Spirit moving and visibly see a lot of the audience tracking with the testimonies and the songs. 

                And then there are other concerts.  

                When the energy is more laid-back, it’s more difficult to tell if the message is reaching across from the platform to the pew.  But we have learned those may be the times when God is moving in perhaps just one person.  There is one soul in that audience for whom we are singing—one heart God has purposed to be there and hear the “words of hope and truth.” 

                And it’s worth it.  Every bit of labor spent is worth it for that one person.  They are the harvest and it feels like a feast. 

10 Random Things I Learned in Mexico

10.  How many licks does is take to get to the center of  Bomba Chile sucker? ....Trust me, you don't want to find out.

9.  Stop signs are optional in Mexico.

8.  Mexican police armed with automatic weapons do NOT like their pictures taken.

7.  Mexican taxi cab drivers DO.

6.  Dora and Diego have so much fun doing that zip line! Rapelling off a cliff is a little scarier.

5.  If you're bitten by a White Lipped Snake, you have time to get to the hospital.  If you're bitten by a Coral Snake, you have time to say, "I love you.  Goodbye."

4.  There is no proof that ancient Mayans sacrificed humans to the gods.

3.  You need a new watch in Mexico.  5 Mexican minutes may take 20.  There is no rush!

2.  Dramamine is my friend.

1.  When offered "green bud," "blow," or "nose candy," just say NO.


I could write a whole blog about each of these things from my wonderful, amazing, relaxing vacation, but thought I would spare you the gory details.  Go and be enlightened, my child.


Grace and peace,
Becky

The Special Gifts

I could go on and on about the blessings I have.  Being born into a Christian family and believing in Jesus since practically birth has to top the list.  And second to that, being born in a country where I have freedom to worship and believe Truth.  Of course, my husband and my children, our economic stability, our health and unmeasurable provisions are all biggies that I too often take for granted, but am incredibly grateful for.

But you know how sometimes when God blesses you in very small ways, these are the things you feel tremendously thankful for?  These are the ever-present whisperings of His spirit as He leads you.  These are the ever-soft intimacies as He comforts you.  These are the ever-uplifting encouragements as He prompts you to His work.  It’s like a special little, “I love you.  You are Mine.” 

I have felt these special “gifts” as of late regarding my singing group, Evidence.  I will be honest:  this ministry is hard work!  It is taxing on my health, on my family, and on my schedule.  But I know it’s what I’m called to.  Last night’s concert was a prime example of God pouring out His spirit as we sang.  We could SEE the people tracking with us, crying, smiling, singing, and clapping.  When you’re on the platform, you have the foremost eye view of these “pockets” of people in the audience who are truly being ministered to.  After a long day, half way through the concert, I felt God showing me in His subtle way, “See?  Look at these people.  They are what all this work has been about.  It is worth it because THEY are worth it to Me.”

He has also given me a sense of “rightness” in going forward with our “Friends of Evidence” concert event.  (www.evidencesings.com)  It is right for us to "gift" this concert to our family, friends, and fans.  But it’s really hard to ask for money.  Especially if you’re not absolutely 100% positive that the work for which the money is needed is the right one!  The one that God absolutely 100% positively wants you to do!  And I have continually been waiting to feel a sense of unease about this concert or about our CD recording project as I pray about them.  Yet, I have NOT felt any unsettling or unrest in my spirit about either thing!  While I have no idea how things will turn out in the end…the concert may end up with 13 people in attendance…the recording project may take place in my own basement—ha!….I still maintain a sense of PEACE about them.  A conviction that this IS the path He is showing us.  Thank you, God, for shedding light on our steps—even if it’s one step at a time. 

 

Considering Thanksgiving is about taking time to show gratitude, I thought I’d share about how I’ve been so blessed lately with these little things.  I hope you have been listening for God’s still, small voice as He speaks to you about your life—these are special gifts to be grateful for!